just when you thought i'm not blogging anymore, tadah!

the last 6 weeks hasnt been easy. God didn't say life's easy right?

so i'm here, obedient to what He has planned even if I don't quite get it most of the time. It seems so easy to do what seems natural and logical but our God has plans beyond the human capacity to comprehend.

So be it then. Till the day I'm allowed to go back.

So the next question is, can I do it where I am planted?

Some words that I scribbled on my soon to be demolished wall when I had doubts whether I can pull through honours year. (and I know there is a reason why I could do honours though I was tired to study.)

"I have seen you this far and I will see you through."

What God has begun He is faithful to see it to completion.

And I leave it to Him while I do my best. You see faith not tested is not faith. Because when we are faithless, He is still faithful.

For the next 2-3 years, I have to lean on the Beloved to see me through.

I love You, Jesus.

so long never blog le.

now i shall blog.

TP starting on 22 feb. which is like 12 days time.

i see how if i want to keep this up. easier to follow on twitter or fb haha.

and stop blogging like a teenager worzzz

HAHA.

ok,adult mstan, adult.

aye see tee is just. i pray thee wont be my add psy two tutor.

i apologise this has become once a month update of my non eventful dramatic life. many hats and many things to be done.

came back from batam with the children and we went to this orphanage. what an experience and yes i'm dying to go back to cambodia!!

this is getting boring. maybe i should start doing some creative writing. art mirrors life and life mirrors art. and not lessom plans all the time.


lesson plans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is to say that i am alive and kicking despite the weekly assignment bombardment.

and i received no email from ell so that means i no need to retake the grammar test! yay.. hahahaha

living a day at a time.

live as if i'm going to die the next day.

within 2 months, i've attended 2 wakes. and the face of death isnt as frightening as i thought.

that is when you know where you are headed after life is gone.

ok, more to cheery things, i is the love my phone. ok, not so intellectual hur.

is might be ms tan's last post here not because i am shifting to anywhere but i forsee no time to blog. ok maybe like one lioner but how do we sum life in a line?

i very much like this yr's ndp not because i watched the preview alr but it's just a way of being proud of singpore.

and the best part is bringing in the kampung into the celebrations. remembering things which are seemingly forgotten. ilike.

the weekend felt long. of course it's a long weekend. but. awesome weekend nonetheless. havent felt that for a long time!

ok so school is no longer a bridge away and it's starting tmr.

and i got permission to skip the evening one coz of FDD! haa..

anyway that is not the main thing.the main thing is now i need to start studying and slack no more!!

and more clothes shopping! yes and prep to move to hall. cant wait cant wait.

oh crap, i need to find what to wear for tmr's fdd.

n*s is too efficient that other insituitions are pale in comparision.
i just want to know how the next four months of my days look like, is that too much to ask for? maybe.you know not how they function.

anyway, this is an uber restful week. the only one that i really need to meet before she fly away (again) that's all. oh and the grammar test tmr. seriously. just fail and do the course la.

looking forward to stay oncampus with yu. it will be fun to the maxx. haa. shutting out the rest of the world and do what i need to do, study? probably time to do my short film, photography and all the other stuff that i can't do because the outside world is too stifling and judgemental. and weight of the emotional baggage is not what i want to carry to the next chapter of my life thank you very much. i know this sounds very explicit but. when enough is enough and it's time to move on, get moving because life does not hang at that moment where you feel the loss.

no point rationalising or put things into words because words don't carry the weight of the experience, anymore.

just let go. you will find your life more fulfiling that you thought.

a sidenote, one of the teachers commented that we are better off when we were younger. because we could draw and express through art. now? words don't justify but i can't even begin to draw anything out. time for some art therapy soon. i know i am turning to visual experssion, ha, of all people, me, not because the poet in me has died but seeing poetry in a new light. poetry in visual.